"Bapa eats Dum Dums every day."

[Dum Dum's are a kind of sucker.]

"Mommy, your breath is wrong."

"I have a keen ear."...

... when Nick claimed he heard Raindeer hooves on the roof.

"Mommy do you know anything about penises?"

Dad ask: "What if Mommy brings home a prince?"

"Mommy won't bring home a prince until she goes to Disneyworld."

After getting a full dose of the Christmas Story...

"When Corinne grows up she is going to be a Savior."