"A poop is not a poop without a prune."

Nick's philosophy about bowel movement induction and prunes.

"When Corinne gets bigger I'm going to take her out and tell her the names of all the stars and planets."

Nick, Jr. Astronomer.

"I'm laying down with YOUR mommy!"

...as dayee emerges from the shower to find another cute, little, curly headed man snuggled up with his wife.

"Brave boys are Brave."

(what more can one say?)

"Will it be a membery of you?"

Nick asks, as Mommy prepares Nick's berries to be eaten after she goes out for the evening.

"ummmmm...Almost Ten"

Nick's reply to a cute 12-year old girl's question: "How old are you?"
Nick later admitted that he was trying to "impress her".

"I'm working on my control."

Nick's answer to dayee's inquiry "Is everything under control in there?" after a something dropped in the bathroom.

"I don't want to hear anymore of your wild stories."

After dayee had commenced with a rendition of Itsy-Bitsy Spider, principally for Corinne's benefit.

Nick makes a "fashion statement" for Diane with the selection of a tight fitting sweater...

"I want everyone to see your breasts...so they'll know you're healthy."

"I have no time to bother with that..."

I have no idea what he had not time to bother with...

"I found a new book for Corinne to chew on."

"They're all beautiful." as nonchalant as possible...

Nick was being shown pictures from Betty's Place and in typical male fashion, proffered the slightest glance at said pictures offering the simplest, and quickest of disengaging complements.

"I'm gonna show them everything."

Prior to Calcagno's visit...

"I belong to Colombia. I also belong to God."

Sorry, I can't recall the context of this pronouncement, but it really doesn't matter...

"He's blowing his honker"

Answer to Diane's query, "Where's daddy?"...

"I'm the FART-O-MATIC!"

"Did you hear a disturbing noise?"

You don't want to know...

"Things turn up when you find them."

Yogi Bera has nothing on this kid...

"Don't be cross with him! He's just a Dad."

Marriage counseling, according to Nick.